Women love to be loved.

Men do also. We all do. It makes us feel as if we really matter to someone. But women love to hear it more often than men. They are more sensitive. Get in the habit of telling her how you feel often. I want to tell Irma how much I love her every time we are near to each other. Make sure you tell her ten or more times daily, if possible. This creates a bond that will never break. You are one-half of the marriage. Love is the cement that will hold the marriage together.

Some men never get the message that love is important to the relationship. Others find it too hard to express their love. If your marriage is devoid of love, it will never last for very long. If you are the silent type, give it a try. Of course you must mean it. Get in the habit of telling her how much she means to you and that the best thing you could ever have done was marry her.

Any successful business owner will tell you that for their business to succeed it must grow a little every day. It either grows or fades into obscurity. Marriage is the same. You must work at it every day. Tweak it daily and it will be a long-lasting success.

Flowers – the road to her heart.

When was the last time you bought her flowers? We go into our grocery stores once or twice a week. The stores display a great variety of fresh flowers. They will wrap them for you and give you a little card to put in with them. Make a purchase! Write the three magic words, I love you. Walk into the house and tell her you just couldn’t resist buying her flowers because they looked as perfect and as beautiful as she does. She will love you for it. A gift of flowers does not need to be a once-a-year occasion. It should be completely spontaneous, right out of the blue. No reason is required and you will bask in her pleasure. Love does not need a reason or excuse.

Dinner out is nice – breakfast out is even better.

A nice evening out to dinner together and she will love you for it. Unfortunately this treat will hit your wallet fairly hard. A few years ago, I discovered an even better road to our hearts. (Notice I included myself in this one.) Discover the pleasure of going out to breakfast on a weekly basis. When you do so you will obtain three times the pleasure of breakfast at home:

1.     Your wife will love you for it because it will give her a weekly break away from the drudgery of preparing breakfast for the family.

2.     You will love it because you will be able to be up close and comfortable with the lady you love without the distractions of home.

3.     Your wallet will rest easy because breakfast will certainly be much less expensive than dinner at a restaurant.

If your wife is a stay-at-home mom, she has been cooped up in the home all week. She’s prepared meals, cooked and baked, washed clothes, made beds, shopped for groceries, cleaned the house and done countless dishes. Picture yourself having to live at your place of work all week, unable to leave the office 24/7. That wouldn’t be much fun now would it? Think of the pleasure of throwing off the chores and heading out for a weekend breakfast. Try it. It will put zip in your marriage.

Holding her hand. You will become one and the same.

Holding hands may seem like an old-fashioned habit but it is one that will help your marriage along the road to longevity. Direct contact is critical in a marriage. What easier way to keep in touch than holding hands? You actually feel the warmth of the lady you love as you stroll along. Try it! You will be amazed by how nice it feels.

Win the argument – sorry – there are no winners.

Two people living together with the stresses of the day upon their shoulders are going to have the odd argument. There is no question that this will happen. The problem is that money; time, priorities and everything else in the world can enter the picture and lead to arguments. Egos can be the main problem. We all hate to lose. Some people are very lucky, they may have the type of personality where consensus can be reached easily; however, they are few and far between.

So what do we do about the problem? Here is what happens. We argue and one will win. But are they really the winner? The loser is hurt and upset and feels resentment. What has the winner gained? Nothing! Eventually the loser will need to be appeased. The winner will eventually need to apologize or a little thorn will reside in the relationship.

An argument cannot be settled with a winner and a loser emerging. That’s okay on a playing field but certainly not in a marriage situation. You must learn to discuss things openly and take into consideration the other person’s side.

Finally, make a solemn vow never to go to bed angry with each other. Apologize to her and tell her you are sorry for being so stubborn. Your marriage needs it to remain healthy and long-lasting.

Respect the Lady.

It seems that men have lost respect for the female of our species today. I don’t really know why this is. Perhaps it has something to do with the liberation of women from their subservient role of the past. Now they have proven they can handle any job a man can do, and sometimes do it better. Deep down, some men may resent their independence. When I grew up my father was my mentor. I didn’t ask him what to do. I simply noticed how he treated my mother in everyday life. There was never foul language in our home. The strongest I ever heard was damn. The f-word was never used. My dad always opened the door and stepped aside to allow my mother or sisters through first. My dad wore a hat like most men in those years. If he met a lady on the street he would tip his hat to her. My dad was a gentleman. I guess I grew up seeing those characteristics and simply continued to treat my wife and any other lady with the same respect and good manners.

It wasn’t always easy for me to be a gentleman though. As I mentioned earlier, I was in the Canadian Navy. I joined when I was 18 to see the world. Our first assignment was to HMCS Cornwallis, the naval training base near Dig by, Nova Scotia. Along with about 3,000 other youngsters we were put through the rigors of hard, basic training. Three thousand sailors can produce a lot of cuss words and bad language. The only girls on the base lived apart from us and we hardly ever saw them. Foul words not only crept into our daily conversations but became a genuine part of every expression.

After our five months were over we were released upon the world. First we were sent home for two weeks of leave. One day at our dinner table in our “no four-letter-word home,” I asked my younger brother to pass the butter. Teasingly he ignored me as he used to do before base camp. After the second request was ignored I mistakenly told him to pass the f---ing butter. There it was, out in the open without thinking. I apologized to my mother who stood with her mouth wide open as if the moon had just blown up. I decided never to forget where I was again. Unfortunately, I have found this promise the hardest one to keep. I don’t know if it is due to us being surrounded by foul language or what it is. For me personally, the language of the sailor still creeps into my life.

How often have you heard someone refer to his wife as “the wife”? It’s common for a person to refer to the dog or the car or the house in that way. Certainly referring to your partner and spouse who you love so much as the wife is a sure sign of disrespect. I really doubt if she would ever refer to you as “the husband.” My wife is the love of my life. Shouldn’t yours be too?  

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